Struggling without struggles.

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Yesterday I spent sometime looking and reading about the Subaru Outback.  I really want one of these bad boys to drive my family around the city and look real cool.  But the commitment that buying a car requires is scary to me.  I popped up the payment calculator and when it showed me that we would be paying $400 a month for the car, immediately I was bummed.  Earlier that day Daniel asked me why I wanted a new car, and my response was that I was bored.  I think I’m really grasping for some change, some excitement in my life.  I know, buying a car shouldn’t be emotionally satisfying it should be a practical logical planned purchase.  His question led me to think more about what is really pushing me toward this obsession.  Is it the culture that I’ve been brought up in? Maybe it’s a family thing (my younger brother has bought at least 20 cars), it’s just that I’m seeking excitement from areas that are temporary and after the car, I’ll be looking for the next exciting thing.  Why do I need this excitement? That seems to be the most important of the questions.  I don’t know currently, but it’s something that I’m really wanting to dig into. This struggle to find my path, I want to do things I love everyday, but what does that mean and how do I get there? The struggle to find a focus and go with it, I’m desperate at this point, can you tell?

UPDATE: We purchased a VW Golf instead. The factors that redirected us/me was the price, the known quality (we’ve owned VW in the past) and the service that goes with VW. Car

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