Yesterday I took my kids to get hair trims. Well of course, one of the stylists doesn’t understand “trim” and cuts my sons hair shorter than we wanted. What can you do after the damage is done? So, I tried to help him style his hair a little this morning and now I’m sitting here worried that he’s going to be judged and ridiculed all day from the kids at school. I’m probably more worried than he is, but the fact that it’s made me stressed is an indicator of a problem within the school environment and social behavior. While people are debating over curriculum and academics our values and social behaviors are swirling around a rusted drain hole.
Last week I sent an email to The Father of my kids to tell him about some of the concerns that I’ve had throughout the year. His response was, “well, sadly that’s how the world is.” I disagree. As an adult, I don’t have to worry about a bad haircut. I don’t have to worry about being judged. I don’t have to witness my friends leave me for other friends day after day. I don’t have to deal with dating and drama. I’m not every adult, I get that, my point is that it doesn’t have to be like this. So why do kids behave this way? Why do we continue to stand passively by and allow it to remain this way?
I drafted this letter to the boy’s father:
I’d like to have a conversation about this, but right now I’m angry.
B told me a story that happened at church over the weekend. I do not think it’s acceptable for kids in his Sunday school class to be picking on him because he likes the color pink or has interests outside the stereotypical boy interests. He’s very brave to share with them about himself and not feel like he has to hide who he is and what he enjoys. I will not stand idol giving him blanket statements like, “well that’s what most people think” and make him bare the burden of ignorance on his shoulders. Please talk with his teacher or send me her email and I will talk with her. I’d like to know that this has been addressed.
Out of all places that acceptance and love is supposed to be taught, it’s a shame in your church and the parents in your community have children that behave like this.
PS- You may sense some anger in this post. I can’t bare to believe to think that he’s not allowed to have toys because “they’re for girls” at your house. These statements are where kids learn intolerance. In the future I hope you stand up for him. Allowing him to feel ashamed of who he is, is the worst thing you can do as a parent.
I hope sending this helps him to support B in his interests. I’m concerned that his father is part of the crowd that enables these closed ways of thinking. I guess we’ll see.